Monday, March 01, 2010

Heart beats

This morning I did something I didn't think I would ever need to do. A stress test. And, when I thought about a stress test, it didn't stress me out. I really thought it would be a get hooked up to electrodes and take a spin on the old treadmill kinda thing. Well, let me tell you it was NOT.

They injected me with some sort of radio active isotope thing in my IV and immediately I felt like a big steaming bowl of crap. My stomach hurt, my head felt tight, I felt like I could projectile vomit (if it wouldn't have gotten the lady in trouble that told me it was OK to eat a little something when I went to my room to wait - yet again - on the Dr. so I could take said stress test) and I was scared. And when I say scared, I don't even mean I think I'm going to die scared. It was a I have no idea what is going on and all I can do is cry scared and that's what I did. And it all hit me at once, not a slow little creep up on you "I don't feel good" creep up, a rude minding my own business and someone pops out of nowhere and slaps me across the face with a cold wet hand kind of thing.

After the radioactive stuff ran around my body for a few minutes I got pictures made 360 degrees around my heart. They had me hooked up to a monitor that I could hear my heart beating out loud in the room. It took me awhile to figure out that was what it was but once I did, I thought "that is a fast heart beat, I wonder if I can slow it down?" So I thought about Conrad, slower it got, all 5 of my children's faces went before my mind's eye, slower still. Then "the" urge came over me and off to the races went my heart because I didn't want to do that on that table. (For those of you confused ones, if I said "BM" would that help?) Apparently, radioactive stuff is a laxative for me. It was cool listening to my heartbeat. I tried to keep it steady and slow but that didn't always work.

After the test, we had to wait for the Doctor to come give us the results. We waited, and waited, and waited. Finally, he came and delivered this little bundle of joy...I have to have an angiogram/heart cath, whatever you want to call it tomorrow. Yeah, again, I'm not going home. But, I have meals, complete with desserts, ordered until lunch tomorrow so I'm good.

I've had my moments of panic with this. I won't deny it. But when my Mumsey left this evening, she said a prayer for me and a peace and calm washed over me. Jim from the church came and read from the Bible and gave me communion and prayed with me. I have nothing to worry over, I can't do anything about what's going on so I'm going to leave it in God's hands.

My nurse, Nana, and I had a conversation about being grateful about this. And, I am. I am grateful that my Doctor didn't give up where some would and ordered this test which I thought was pointless yet may have found the reason behind the problem. Thank you Dr. Taylor (best Cardiologist in Arlington - do I get a discount now?)! Grateful that we found this while I am young (quit snickering - I am) and can do something about it and that I didn't have a heart attack because we got it early. This really could have all ended much worse so I am grateful that Jackie made me call my Doctor because, trust me, I'm not the kind that would. Thanks, Jackie!

So, worry not for me my friends. Worry, instead, for those Doctors who have to see me naked tomorrow. Couldn't possibly be a bright spot in their day. Pray for wisdom and clarity for them while the procedure is going on. Pray for peace and calm for my family during this time. And, thank you all for the prayers, visits and phone calls. They are all appreciated!

Oh, one more bright spot...I get to have my first Valium tomorrow!

No comments: